


I Wouldn't Be

by Paridise



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 01:50:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paridise/pseuds/Paridise
Summary: The stress has been getting to Mick , Trying to live in his dads shadow. Sometimes it's just too much.





	I Wouldn't Be

**Author's Note:**

> It's awful and I'm sorry. Please be nice.

Sebastian was walking through the trailer park smiling at the photo of his girls Hanna had just sent him. Typing out a reply he heard a muffled sob to his left. Pausing he walked to the back of his trailer, the side facing the wall, a perfect hiding place. Rounding it he saw a sight he wasn’t expecting. "Mick" he enquired looking at the young boy with his head buried in his knees arms wrapped tight making himself as small as possible. "Mick are you alright?" Shocked that someone had found him Mick looked up wiping his eyes to see Seb looking at him concern etched on every feature “I'm fine Seb its nothing.” “Sure and I'm going to drive for Sauber next season because I like a challenge” Seb replied sarcastically walking closer “now how about we head in and talk” he suggested, holding his hand out for Mick to take. “Do you even have time?” Mick questioned placing his hand in Seb's allowing himself to be hauled up.” Of course and even if I didn’t I’d make it, I always have time for you kiddo never forget that” Seb answered voice serious now.

Wrapping his arm around Mick's shoulder he tried to lighten the mood “hot chocolate or beer? Mhh we have a little winner but is he too little” Sebastian teased. “Ha-ha, maybe we should stick to the hot chocolate, an old man like you probably can’t even handle podium champagne.” Mick shot back with a grin but Sebastian still saw the unshed tears in his eyes and had an incline into what could have upset him this much on his very first championship, something that should be in his top 10 best days, “old” seb shirked scandalised “I’ll give you old, I can still out drink you” Sebastian retorted, “for now” Mick concedes. “But” Seb announced “I do have a flight tomorrow so I think hot chocolate is our best bet. We can always celebrate you during the week okay?” he threw over his shoulder as he started the coffee machine. “of course” Mick replied closing the door and wandering over to the sofa, sitting sideways with his knees up, resting his chin so he could watch Sebastian, “if we hold on a few more weeks we might be celebrating your 5th title too” “maybe”, Seb allowed “but it’s not over until it’s got your name engraved on it so we keep working and hoping, now” switching the subject rather quickly “what I can give you as a treat is...” Seb rooted trough his fridge pulling out whipped cream and chocolate cake “ta-da, Jenson is great for some things” he whispered comically. Laughing Mick shook his head at Sebastian “how do you even fit in your car? Between Hanna and apparently Jenson you must never stick to a diet”. “Jenson is a rare occurrence, its Kimi and his fridge full of ice cream that means I do extra work outs” he confessed as he wandered over with two mugs of hot chocolate topped with cream and two plates full of generous servings of cake. Looking at the spread in front of him Mick came to a definite conclusion. “We are going to have to run from the airport home” he announced. Tilting his head Seb paused and pulled out his phone “may as well go all out then.” Shooting off a text and instantly getting a response he typed again and then sat down throwing the phone on the table right then is the hot chocolate okay? Picking it up and taking a sip Mick closed his eyes to the comfort it instantly seemed to offer him. “Its brilliant thanks Seb.” “You won’t be thanking me when we have to go for an extra 10 mile run” Seb said.

Suddenly the door to the motor home unlocked and Kimi strolled in, throwing Seb a tub of ice cream and walking over to the fridge. Taking some of the cream and chocolate cake in a bowl he turned around to face the men on the couch. Looking at Seb he spoke his first words to the pair. “Are we going to ski or something to work this one off” he asked eyebrow raised a small but genuine smile on his face. “We’ll have to do something,” seb laughed, “I’ll text you and let you know the days I have free and we’ll come up with something” he confirmed, “And anyway no one said you had to steal my cake” Seb shot back mischief plain to see. “And no one said this was a trading market and you could just ask for my ice cream but okay that’s fine” Kimi teased back showing the close friendship the pair shared. Looking past Seb and making eye contact with Mick Kimi let the smile soften even more, “congratulations on the championship Mick it was a brilliant race and a hard season you deserved it” without waiting for a reply he turned and left closing and locking the door from the outside. “How did he get in?” Mick wondered aloud. “he has my spare key because Emilie loves keys and keeps them sometimes and I can never find them when im leaving and robin isn’t at that stage yet so it just made sense” Seb laughed as he explained. “Now” he said will we watch a move or?” “A movie is good.” “Brilliant let’s find something.”

Eating and facing forward Seb paid zero attention to the film, instead watching Mick from the corner of his eye, seeing he wasn’t paying attention either, instead swirling the last of his ice cream with the spoon lost in thought. Seeing as he wasn’t letting this go Sebastian decided now was as good a time as any to breach the subject. Pausing the movie Seb turned his body to face Mick. “So you want to tell me what’s up because those weren’t tears of relief or happiness before, I’d know the difference” he intoned. “It’s nothing Seb I'm fine. Honest.” “No you’re not now talk to me.” Seb replied putting everything to give Mick his attention. Looking down at his hands twisting in his lap Mick took a deep shuddering breath, “it’s everything but mostly it’s the comparison to dad and how I am never going to be good enough to live up the name, not even live up to him, but just the Schumacher legacy, I’m going to destroy it.” Seb took a dep breath his earlier thoughts having been confirmed “hey no that’s bullshit who told you that, the media? Mick they have no idea what they’re talking about not-” “it’s not just them Seb it’s my competitors and the team and everyone I know.” Frowning Seb tried to alleviate that thought, “well it is most certainly not everyone because I don’t think that, Hanna doesn’t and Emilie and Matilda most definitely don’t they support you and Fabian more than they ever supported me” he said “and anyway,” he leaned over and grasped Mick by the shoulder, “that shouldn’t get you down. Use it as initiative to prove everyone wrong, you have so much talent- “Do I though” he cut in looking at Seb, eyes desperate, “do I have any talent? The only reason anyone signed me was for my last name. No one thinks I have any talent it’s just the last name associated with their brand they like, no one sees me Seb, no one even wants to see Mick. No cares about ME.” he sobbed. “Hey, no, that’s not true Mick.” Seb answered pulling the shaking boy into his arms to try and offer some comfort. “Mick that’s not true your family are so proud of you, I’m so proud of you, you’ve worked so hard-”cutting him off Mick continued his tirade of self-hate, seemingly unable to stop now he had begun to say what was hurting him. “Dad would probably tell me to stop racing because I’m terrible and I have no talent and I’m letting the family name down and he’s going to hate me I’m nothing but a disappointment.” Mick hiccupped gasping for breath as the tears continued streaming down his face. “Mick stop” Seb said his own eyes filling with tears as he heard the pain in the voice of the young boy he was holding, “that’s not true and you know it’s not, your father loves you so much and he was never as proud as the day you hopped in that kart and sped off and he loved nothing more than to see you enjoying yourself in it but guess what?” Sebastian said pulling Mick tighter into his embrace desperately trying to hold this you boy together and help close some wounds. “He also loved seeing you running around your house, reading a book, pigging out in the kitchen, playing football, doing homework, spending far too much time playing fifa anything. He loved seeing you happy more than anything else in the world, no matter what brought you that joy. As long as you and Gina and you mom were happy, he was happy, and bursting with pride. You and Gina meant more to him than any title and seeing you too grow up being happy was better than any podium or race win.” Seb spoke honestly remembering all the times Michael and he had spent together and Michael wouldn’t stop gushing about the kids and the little things they had done. Remembering a particularly raw conversation he decided now was when Mick needed to hear about it. “you know we spoke about you one evening, about you driving in f1 and do you know what he said to me?” waiting until Mick looked at him and Seb knew this would sink in, holding eye contact he continued “he said Sebastian I don’t care if Mick hates cars, never gets a license and cycles everywhere as long as he is happy and healthy that’s all that matters to me. He could hate everything about every sport and id learn his interests and talk about them. I just want him happy and healthy that’s all that really matters.” letting that sink in and feeling Micks sobs increasing Seb just held him close and slowly rocked them back and forth, letting a few stray tears fall himself, knowing that Mick needed to let this out, that he had been holding it in for far too long.

When Micks crying lessened to occasional sobs Sebastian tried to see if there was anything else he could do. “Mick how long has this been bothering you?” gathering a breathe Mick decided to be honest with Sebastian knowing it was time to let someone know what a mess his head was. “I don’t know, the doubt is always there but the pressure this year just meant it was increasing and increasing until today when someone said the only fact I won was because this team is the best for junior categories.” Nodding Seb questioned the statement. “So why was it a battle for the win? Why did it come down to the last 2 races? And anyway even if Prema is the best team you still had a teammate to beat and a strong one at that. Doubts are normal Mick we all have them but we cannot let them consume us. When that happens we may as well give up because well never have the inner strength and belief to go for that gap. Well never throw the car around the way it deserves to be. Well never race properly if we don’t believe in ourselves. Mick there are only 20 cars on the grid and the teams have too much at stake to let someone who isn’t talented enough drive one. No matter whose son you are when you get here it’ll be because of your talent not your father’s okay??” throwing his arms around him and giving him a proper hug Mick spoke into his ear. “Thank you Sebastian.” “For what?” he chuckled retuning the hug, “telling the truth?” “No for being you an amazing confidant and a great role model” Mick replied pulling back to look at him, his eyes showing how thankful he was, “I’m lucky to really know you Sebastian.” With a soft smile reserved to those closest to him Sebastian replied, “you’re very welcome, how about next time you come find be before you cry behind a stack of tyres okay?” “I will, I promise” Mick said making it to himself as well knowing it was something he may need to do in the future but now knowing Sebastian wouldn’t mind if he did.

Seeing the pain still in his eyes and vowing to start doubling his efforts to lighten Micks load and keep a far closer eye on him then he had been. “Now are you going to crash on the bunk here?” Seb asked glancing at the time and seeing how late it was. “No I have a flight so-” “Cancel it and fly with myself and Kimi. Hanna and the girls will love seeing and congratulating you.” “But I usually get my flights from the airport the town over from home” Mick replied seeing a flaw. “If they can’t rearrange a flight then you just fly with us to the next race too, this way we can use the flight to see if you really can drink me or Kimi under the table” he teased with a wink. “Oh it is so on” Mick retorted laughing, knowing he didn’t have a prayer but looking forward to the challenge and a celebration.

**Author's Note:**

> I SAID IT WAS AWFUL. Thank you for reading


End file.
